A poem based on the premise that I wanted to write something amusing about swapping a (I hasten to say, fictional relative) for something else….
I’d like to swap my Great Aunt Nell;
She’s always had a funny smell
Which emanates from all her pores –
She’s often hitching up her drawers.
I’d love to have a nice pet Llama;
We’d watch TV, my favourite drama
I’d buy for him a big spittoon
And sing for him a silly tune
He’d carry me about the town
And cheer me up when feeling down
He’d spit at those who lie in wait
To ambush sweets at summer Fetes
He’d be my best and loyal friend
And be with me until the end
And, when I stumble up to bed
A fluffy pillow for my head.